I was called for interview on 27 June and a second interview on 4 July. I've not heard from them since then. I think they are considering some others for this post, although I have not received any e-mail for rejecting me. I feel so lousy and useless. I know I am talented buy how else can I prove myself; I do not know.
How nice would it be to work in a nice organisation as compared to where I am working now, in a place where people are so cold towards one another. I feel so small and useless.
I am reading a fiction entitled, "Harvesting the Heart" by Jodi Picoult. It enables me to bring me to an imaginary world and this is an escape for me. I can't find any other way to escape from repeatedly questioning myself if I will be offered the job.
If I get this job, it will be a stepping stone to my success. My current company has undermined my potential despite showing them that I am capable of doing more. I know I have achieved what I had wanted in life. I just want to prove myself that I can do more than what they think I can do.
My parents will be disappointed if I did not get the job and I will be greatly disappointed too. I hate this waiting game.
When I walk alone outside, I see people going to work and think for myself, "these people must have done very well for thier interviews to secure a job of their liking" unlike me. I'm already old and people are hesitating to hire me I guess.
I am thinking of taking up the IELTS and a TESOL or TEFEL to pass my time. Courses after courses, but no one wants to hire me.
I just feel like screaming my heart out and crying till my tears have dried up. This is how much sad I have been all this while.
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Beware of Bogus Men On Matrimonial Sites
I have been slowly accepting all that had happened to me in the past one month as a lesson learnt. "A", I found out is a bogus man, all out to cheat women. Luckily, I found this out early using my "head".
Things that gave it away :
a) The scanned copy of this contract was too good to be true. The company that was mentioned in the contract did not exist at all when I googled the company name. This was my first suspicion.
b) Wanted to learn how to drive a boat and buy a boat one day (too good to be true). I was not convinced and was least interested.
c) Wanted to buy a big house in Singapore (I am happy with what I possess here. I am not interested in big houses)- another too good to be true point that I have taken note of.
d) The signatory on the contract, seems to be working in Pakistan when the contract is from a company in Kuwait called KNPC.
e) I googled "male scammers" and found out a lot of information about men posting pictutres of someone else to lure lonely women. I also found out how to track IP Address from the e-mails of these men. I was shocked that I have been corresponding with someone from Lagos, Nigeria all this while, when "A" claims that he is from London.
How could I have been so stupid into believing that he was genuine? Anyway, a part of me was cautious all this while and it was easy to let go suddenly.
I have not corresponded with "A" since finding out that he is bogus. Wonder what sob stories he will come up to abscond money from innocent victims like myself. I'm not into this game. I call it quits and have been ignoring his mails and SMSes.
I hope the picture "A" uses to cheat (of a pleasant looking man and his son) will one day be found out and taken action by the authorities.
Things that gave it away :
a) The scanned copy of this contract was too good to be true. The company that was mentioned in the contract did not exist at all when I googled the company name. This was my first suspicion.
b) Wanted to learn how to drive a boat and buy a boat one day (too good to be true). I was not convinced and was least interested.
c) Wanted to buy a big house in Singapore (I am happy with what I possess here. I am not interested in big houses)- another too good to be true point that I have taken note of.
d) The signatory on the contract, seems to be working in Pakistan when the contract is from a company in Kuwait called KNPC.
e) I googled "male scammers" and found out a lot of information about men posting pictutres of someone else to lure lonely women. I also found out how to track IP Address from the e-mails of these men. I was shocked that I have been corresponding with someone from Lagos, Nigeria all this while, when "A" claims that he is from London.
How could I have been so stupid into believing that he was genuine? Anyway, a part of me was cautious all this while and it was easy to let go suddenly.
I have not corresponded with "A" since finding out that he is bogus. Wonder what sob stories he will come up to abscond money from innocent victims like myself. I'm not into this game. I call it quits and have been ignoring his mails and SMSes.
I hope the picture "A" uses to cheat (of a pleasant looking man and his son) will one day be found out and taken action by the authorities.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
My Trip To An Orphanage In Cambodia
On Saturday, 17 June I visited an orphanage in Cambodia. The children there were trained for cultural performance in the evening while they study during the day. There were approximately 72 children in the orphanage consisting of disabled, unwanted children and children of HIV parent/s.
The school's building had the bare necessities with only one classroom with long wooden tables and benches. The children wore torn clothes but were happy to receive visitors. There were a few Europeans there, who were volunteer English Teachers. The children entertained us with 3 cultural performances and they were fantastic. I made a small donation and asked the Manager there for the kind of items that the orphanage needed. We were told that they needed toiletries and washing powder. We mingled and talked to the children for a while. The children held our hands and refused to let us go. I hugged them to show them that I cared. Some of them said "I love you" and this really touched me.
Immediately the next morning, we woke up early and went to the central market at Siem Reap and bought lots of items like toothpastes, toothbrushes, soaps, bottles of shampoo, body powder and soap powder. The children immediately recognised us and came to us. It was their lunch time then and they had mere rice and vegetable soup for lunch. They were all standing and having their lunch as the ground was muddy due to construction works at the building for a permanent bigger stage for their performance.
My heart went all out to them. I tried to explain to them that I was to leave for S'pore the following day and one of them told me that she wants to accompany me. One girl was trying to tell me something but I think she has difficulty expressing herself in English and withheld what she was about to tell me. If I had the means I do not mind adopting one of them. They were so adorable.
Was trying to recall the amount of food we waste everyday. We have not experienced what poverty is but witnessing the plight of these children has been an eye opener for me. I could not sleep all night for the past few nights.
The children would have seen visitors come and go everyday. Wonder how they will feel if they are emotionally attached to some volunteers but only to see them go. It would be painful for them. I will keep praying for the children to have better, sophisticated lives in future with more donation from the public. I want to go back there again and donate in cash and in kind.
I saw heaven in this orphanage.
By the way, was thinking that before visiting the orphanage, was thinking of "A" most of the time but now, after visiting the orphanage, "A" is not the whole world to me as these under previledged children are in my mind all the time. Even when I take my meals.
The school's building had the bare necessities with only one classroom with long wooden tables and benches. The children wore torn clothes but were happy to receive visitors. There were a few Europeans there, who were volunteer English Teachers. The children entertained us with 3 cultural performances and they were fantastic. I made a small donation and asked the Manager there for the kind of items that the orphanage needed. We were told that they needed toiletries and washing powder. We mingled and talked to the children for a while. The children held our hands and refused to let us go. I hugged them to show them that I cared. Some of them said "I love you" and this really touched me.
Immediately the next morning, we woke up early and went to the central market at Siem Reap and bought lots of items like toothpastes, toothbrushes, soaps, bottles of shampoo, body powder and soap powder. The children immediately recognised us and came to us. It was their lunch time then and they had mere rice and vegetable soup for lunch. They were all standing and having their lunch as the ground was muddy due to construction works at the building for a permanent bigger stage for their performance.
My heart went all out to them. I tried to explain to them that I was to leave for S'pore the following day and one of them told me that she wants to accompany me. One girl was trying to tell me something but I think she has difficulty expressing herself in English and withheld what she was about to tell me. If I had the means I do not mind adopting one of them. They were so adorable.
Was trying to recall the amount of food we waste everyday. We have not experienced what poverty is but witnessing the plight of these children has been an eye opener for me. I could not sleep all night for the past few nights.
The children would have seen visitors come and go everyday. Wonder how they will feel if they are emotionally attached to some volunteers but only to see them go. It would be painful for them. I will keep praying for the children to have better, sophisticated lives in future with more donation from the public. I want to go back there again and donate in cash and in kind.
I saw heaven in this orphanage.
By the way, was thinking that before visiting the orphanage, was thinking of "A" most of the time but now, after visiting the orphanage, "A" is not the whole world to me as these under previledged children are in my mind all the time. Even when I take my meals.
"A" Has Gone MIA
Read all "A"'s mails when I got back from my vacation. He is such a sweet man. He informed me in one of his mails that he clinched the contract. He even sent me a scanned copy of the contract. Isn't that sweet of him? Don't worry, I'll not easily fall for his wealth as God has made me self sufficient and it is enough for me. I want to soar higher but the extra cash will go to charity. He claimed to have dreams of buying a boat and a big house for his son to play. I'll not be lured into such material wealth but will be happy for him if he realises his dreams.
By the way, all my SMSes and e-mails are unanswered after he got the contract. Do not know why. Let's wait and see. Or else, this friend is also bogus I guess. I'm prepared but I won't be affected. I'll be sad but can pick myself up. I'm a strong woman.
There are so many things to be sad about. This relationship is not worth dying for.
By the way, all my SMSes and e-mails are unanswered after he got the contract. Do not know why. Let's wait and see. Or else, this friend is also bogus I guess. I'm prepared but I won't be affected. I'll be sad but can pick myself up. I'm a strong woman.
There are so many things to be sad about. This relationship is not worth dying for.
Friday, June 10, 2011
Familiar Voice in "A"
Spoke to "A" twice already. His voice sounds familiar. It sounds like I've heard his voice before and the way he talks seems familiar too. In our past lifes were we a couple? Have I been single all along to wait for someone like "A"?
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Will Everything Work Out?
Will everything work out or will he say "this will not work" when he sees me? Well, this was what happened to me when St@*&%E told me that this will not work out when I was willing to give it a try. If at all he does not want me, I know for sure that it is my height as we are not compatible when it comes to height. Other than that, I can't think of any reason for this mission to fail. Unless he has high expectations.
This whole thing is so stressful. But I have grown stronger. This morning "J" told me that I will feel sad if it does not work out. I told her I am ready to face it and will be able to take it or will I?. I mean no harm to anyone so if he rejects me, my wishes will always be with him for him to be with a wonderful woman of his dreams. He deserves it.
This whole thing is so stressful. But I have grown stronger. This morning "J" told me that I will feel sad if it does not work out. I told her I am ready to face it and will be able to take it or will I?. I mean no harm to anyone so if he rejects me, my wishes will always be with him for him to be with a wonderful woman of his dreams. He deserves it.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Wonderful Man "A"
By the way, I did not dump "M" but found his mails weird. One day, he suddenly told me that he is in New Zealand for his business and wanted my address. Sorry, but I barely know him. How can I give him my address? I refused to give him my address and got his number, but I have not called him yet. I don't think I ever want to write to him again as I think "M" is not genuine.
I then met "A" from England. He is so cheerful and makes me smile and even laugh. We chatted once and he seemed nice. Receiving mails from him just makes me happy and I look forward to his mails. I admire him for single handedly raising his son whom he dotes on. I'm already having feelings for him and hope everything works out well. He is coming soon to visit me and hope God shows mercy on me this time and wipe out the lonliness in me. I know that by exchanging mails and chatting we are creating an imaginary world, but why can't we transform the imaginary world into reality when both of us a honest, truthful and serious?
To all those who are reading this, please say a prayer for me that it will work out.
I know this is not of utmost importance to you as there are so many people out there who are really in need of a prayer to heal a soul in some way or other, but if you were in my shoes, you will know how it feels when you are lonely. I've been lonely for years and this whole thing has been making me happy. Will my happiness be an everlasting one this time? Or will be vanished just like the previous times? These are the questions that I keep asking now for which I cannot find answers. I will keep praying for strength to take whatever comes along the way, be it happiness and disappointment. Well, what else will I do? shed tears for a few days and life goes on as usual. Hope it is as easy as it sounds.
I then met "A" from England. He is so cheerful and makes me smile and even laugh. We chatted once and he seemed nice. Receiving mails from him just makes me happy and I look forward to his mails. I admire him for single handedly raising his son whom he dotes on. I'm already having feelings for him and hope everything works out well. He is coming soon to visit me and hope God shows mercy on me this time and wipe out the lonliness in me. I know that by exchanging mails and chatting we are creating an imaginary world, but why can't we transform the imaginary world into reality when both of us a honest, truthful and serious?
To all those who are reading this, please say a prayer for me that it will work out.
I know this is not of utmost importance to you as there are so many people out there who are really in need of a prayer to heal a soul in some way or other, but if you were in my shoes, you will know how it feels when you are lonely. I've been lonely for years and this whole thing has been making me happy. Will my happiness be an everlasting one this time? Or will be vanished just like the previous times? These are the questions that I keep asking now for which I cannot find answers. I will keep praying for strength to take whatever comes along the way, be it happiness and disappointment. Well, what else will I do? shed tears for a few days and life goes on as usual. Hope it is as easy as it sounds.
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