I remember I mentioned about the true friend in this blog sometime ago. I just found out that the true friend is my boyfriend's ex-wife's sister. I suspected this long ago and the truth was out during a casual talk with her. I have been very upset for the past 3 days and since I know the truth there is nothing to confront him about his ex-wife.
BUT..something else my friend told me has been nagging me all these days...I've been loosing sleep these few day over it. It looks like my boyfriend got into a second marriage immediately after the 1st one and got a child. I'm not sure how far this is true because my friend is my boyfriend's other woman's sister and of course she will have many bad things to say about him. But I do not know why but I still do not hate him even if it is true and this information has been withheld from him. I must get the truth out somehow. It's all in my hands and do not want my girlfriend to be in any kind of trouble. I'm contemplating on how to go about asking him about my suspicion.
I have been truthful to him so far and I know for myself that I am not a bad person at all and my relationship with him was all with good intention. If he tells me the truth, my respect for him will be there forever!! and this is the truth.
Monday, December 17, 2007
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
What I'm Reading Now
Finished reading Jodi Picoult's "My Sister's Keeper"
I have heard a lot about Jodi Picoult and her novels and always wanted to read her novel until recently when my friend Lisa passed me the book and I was caught by surprise. She did not tell me that she was bringing Jodi Picoult's book for me to read.
The novel is told in different perspectives like Anna, Campbel, Sara and Jess. This helps the reader understand the feelings and inner turmoil of the characters in the novel.
The plot is unique where Anna takes legal action against her parents for making use of her body to save her sister Kate's life. Readers were surprised that Anna's birth was scientifically designed just to help Kate. Anna was poked and prodded within a few months of her birth and this can be sad.
Picoult did not offer much in Kate's perspective but I feel that it would be good if we knew how Kate felt about the whole thing where Anna has to keep saving her forever.
Picoult added a bit of fairytale where Kate fell in love with another terminally ill guy who went for dates and dance. This development really makes her parents proud as her parents felt that Kate would never be able to go for dates like an ordinary teenager or even see her graduate (as she was terminally ill).
Another fairytale in Picoult's novel is that Sara (Anna and Kate's mum) is an attorney too who was able to express how she felt as a mother during the court's trials.
The end of the novel was also a fairy tale. Picoult choose to kill Anna (the angel) and her kidneys were just right for Kate who survived in the end.
Does this mean that Scientifically designed kids are not natural and eventually be taken away from us because we use them for selfish means?
I have heard a lot about Jodi Picoult and her novels and always wanted to read her novel until recently when my friend Lisa passed me the book and I was caught by surprise. She did not tell me that she was bringing Jodi Picoult's book for me to read.
The novel is told in different perspectives like Anna, Campbel, Sara and Jess. This helps the reader understand the feelings and inner turmoil of the characters in the novel.
The plot is unique where Anna takes legal action against her parents for making use of her body to save her sister Kate's life. Readers were surprised that Anna's birth was scientifically designed just to help Kate. Anna was poked and prodded within a few months of her birth and this can be sad.
Picoult did not offer much in Kate's perspective but I feel that it would be good if we knew how Kate felt about the whole thing where Anna has to keep saving her forever.
Picoult added a bit of fairytale where Kate fell in love with another terminally ill guy who went for dates and dance. This development really makes her parents proud as her parents felt that Kate would never be able to go for dates like an ordinary teenager or even see her graduate (as she was terminally ill).
Another fairytale in Picoult's novel is that Sara (Anna and Kate's mum) is an attorney too who was able to express how she felt as a mother during the court's trials.
The end of the novel was also a fairy tale. Picoult choose to kill Anna (the angel) and her kidneys were just right for Kate who survived in the end.
Does this mean that Scientifically designed kids are not natural and eventually be taken away from us because we use them for selfish means?
What Have I Achieved
It's already Dec 08 and here is a list of my achievements :
1) Got my basic degree in Eng Lang and Lit in Sep 08 (after 6 long years of part-time studies)
2) This was the year that I had high scores for my assignments (Shooting right up to 80 marks)
3) Donned the graduation gown, walking down the aile making my parents proud of me at least for once.
4) Got myself to speakup at work for my rights when some reforms affected me and my work
5) Have lent a listening ear to my friends Geeta, Jasbir and even Rash (and am proud of that) and have also given them good advise
6) Made good friends at SIM this year when it is also my final year(Lisa, Siti, Shifa and Hidayh)
7) At least attempted to keep in touch with Gen (but got wiered replyfrom her, but I'm not bothered)
Things that I've got to achieve by Dec 09
1) Own a HDB flat and stay independently
2) Get a job of my dreams with full satisfaction
3) Be confident of myself (despite my flaws which is not my fault at all)
4) Wish that at least now I'll know who my prince charming would be. Think it would be now or never!
5) Not to brood over how life has been so far but also able to face things with a lightheartedness!
1) Got my basic degree in Eng Lang and Lit in Sep 08 (after 6 long years of part-time studies)
2) This was the year that I had high scores for my assignments (Shooting right up to 80 marks)
3) Donned the graduation gown, walking down the aile making my parents proud of me at least for once.
4) Got myself to speakup at work for my rights when some reforms affected me and my work
5) Have lent a listening ear to my friends Geeta, Jasbir and even Rash (and am proud of that) and have also given them good advise
6) Made good friends at SIM this year when it is also my final year(Lisa, Siti, Shifa and Hidayh)
7) At least attempted to keep in touch with Gen (but got wiered replyfrom her, but I'm not bothered)
Things that I've got to achieve by Dec 09
1) Own a HDB flat and stay independently
2) Get a job of my dreams with full satisfaction
3) Be confident of myself (despite my flaws which is not my fault at all)
4) Wish that at least now I'll know who my prince charming would be. Think it would be now or never!
5) Not to brood over how life has been so far but also able to face things with a lightheartedness!
Friday, November 23, 2007
What Is Beauty?
Why is so much emphasis given to beauty? Isn't it well known that beauty is only skin deep and that all of us will come to a stage where we all get old and loose the physical beauty? Didn't we all study this in school and bring this message to life?
So much emphasis is given to beauty because of the media. If you are a fair woman, you are beautiful. Look at all the bollywood and kollywood stars. They are all fair and beautiful. For ages, this has been the case. In these movies, its okay to have a dark complexioned hero as he is called "black beauy". But the Indian media cannot accept dark complexioned heroines. This has been going on for ages and now, I have reached a point that this is not life and this is not realistic.
In reality Indian women are generally tanned or dark complexioned. If the film or TV chooses dark complexioned women, they are usually portrayed as someone who is disadvantaged because she is dark complexioned and is not needed by anyone. She will never be a heroine but holds a sister character or an aunty who is single and even when she is married, her husband seeks other woman because she is ugly.
When will Indian society change it's mindset in thinking that being dark is indeed beautiful? I have seen many dark complexioned women who are beautiful but why are these people not ready to see the beauty in them? Even the Western media has dark complexioned women for their tvs and films.
These stereotypes are created by the media which affects our society so much so that for many Indian families, being fair is advantageous and considered marketable and being dark complexioned is like a jinx and brandes as "hopless case".
This reality has set in me because I am a dark complexioned Indian women who looks pretty because I have beautiful eyes. I am not self praising myself, but many..many..many people have told me this and I know this is my asset. BUT...mind you. I can't get married mainly because according to my Indian community, I am dark complexioned and it would be difficult for me to get a suitable match. Sometimes I cannot find a reason to why I was ever born this way. Majority of the men go for fair complexioned Indian women. One of the criteria they lay for finding a suitable match is for their bride to be fair complexioned. Surprisingly, somehow they lead a happily married life with the women of their choice because they cherish thier wifes just because they got what they wanted. What if the "fair" women has a "dark" character? Oh...it's ok...such characters can be adjusted. He'd rather live in misery then to leave her because his friends and family have considered him to be lucky because his wife is fair and pretty. Of course, he feels proud to walk with her beside him. This is life. It's bitter but it happens.
Even average people like me are left on the shelf and have to succumb to comments because of my dark complexion. I'm not materialistic, I'm not possessive but I yearn for love and to be cared for, to be kissed, to be held and to do things together with my partner, but guess this will never happen because who cares what you want? These men only care how you look.
When will there be a time when people appreciate the inner beauty in you? This would be a time where I will discard all my make up and walk freely without wanting to look pretty. This will be a time when I am the most confident person in the whole wide world. This will be a time when you have friends for not how you look but for what you are.
So much emphasis is given to beauty because of the media. If you are a fair woman, you are beautiful. Look at all the bollywood and kollywood stars. They are all fair and beautiful. For ages, this has been the case. In these movies, its okay to have a dark complexioned hero as he is called "black beauy". But the Indian media cannot accept dark complexioned heroines. This has been going on for ages and now, I have reached a point that this is not life and this is not realistic.
In reality Indian women are generally tanned or dark complexioned. If the film or TV chooses dark complexioned women, they are usually portrayed as someone who is disadvantaged because she is dark complexioned and is not needed by anyone. She will never be a heroine but holds a sister character or an aunty who is single and even when she is married, her husband seeks other woman because she is ugly.
When will Indian society change it's mindset in thinking that being dark is indeed beautiful? I have seen many dark complexioned women who are beautiful but why are these people not ready to see the beauty in them? Even the Western media has dark complexioned women for their tvs and films.
These stereotypes are created by the media which affects our society so much so that for many Indian families, being fair is advantageous and considered marketable and being dark complexioned is like a jinx and brandes as "hopless case".
This reality has set in me because I am a dark complexioned Indian women who looks pretty because I have beautiful eyes. I am not self praising myself, but many..many..many people have told me this and I know this is my asset. BUT...mind you. I can't get married mainly because according to my Indian community, I am dark complexioned and it would be difficult for me to get a suitable match. Sometimes I cannot find a reason to why I was ever born this way. Majority of the men go for fair complexioned Indian women. One of the criteria they lay for finding a suitable match is for their bride to be fair complexioned. Surprisingly, somehow they lead a happily married life with the women of their choice because they cherish thier wifes just because they got what they wanted. What if the "fair" women has a "dark" character? Oh...it's ok...such characters can be adjusted. He'd rather live in misery then to leave her because his friends and family have considered him to be lucky because his wife is fair and pretty. Of course, he feels proud to walk with her beside him. This is life. It's bitter but it happens.
Even average people like me are left on the shelf and have to succumb to comments because of my dark complexion. I'm not materialistic, I'm not possessive but I yearn for love and to be cared for, to be kissed, to be held and to do things together with my partner, but guess this will never happen because who cares what you want? These men only care how you look.
When will there be a time when people appreciate the inner beauty in you? This would be a time where I will discard all my make up and walk freely without wanting to look pretty. This will be a time when I am the most confident person in the whole wide world. This will be a time when you have friends for not how you look but for what you are.
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