Sometimes I wish someone will just approach me to befriend me.
Why am I still single? I look ok, but why am I still single?
I use to take the same path to and from work for so many years. Why have I not encountered some nice guys approaching me to befriend me? It has happened to some. Does this mean that the expectations of men today is high?
I can't doll up myself for such a thing to happen.
I just want to look reasonably good when I get out of my house and this is what I have been doing, but nothing interesting has happened so far.
This shows that men give importance to physical beauty/attraction. If you are pretty, you are damned lucky. Pretty girls do not need brains. They flaunt themselves and they get what they want. It's so easy for them.
Whereas for people like me (even when I think that I'm reasonably good looking)we need to try very hard. I mean, increasing our circle of friends etc. etc. until one day, I just gave up cause the good ones are already taken up.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
I'm Feeling Lousy Today
Do not know why, but am feeling lousy today.
Last night I received a letter from SIM about my convocation. I did not open the envelope. Just do not have the mood to go for the graduation. What's the point of upgrading myself when I cannot get a job related to the area of my specialisation.
Can you believe it? I am going to study again. Life is going to be boring again. No social life, no friends for the next 1 year. Do not know if I will reap the results of my hard work at least this time.
Last night I received a letter from SIM about my convocation. I did not open the envelope. Just do not have the mood to go for the graduation. What's the point of upgrading myself when I cannot get a job related to the area of my specialisation.
Can you believe it? I am going to study again. Life is going to be boring again. No social life, no friends for the next 1 year. Do not know if I will reap the results of my hard work at least this time.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
I Feel So Unlucky And Useless
Oh I feel so useless and feel that I'm the most unluckiest person on earth.
Sometimes I just feel like ending my life. It's so embrassing to have gotten a degree and not being successful in any single interview. Will I be rejected because of my poor grades in school? But I put in a lot of effort for this degree. I have been searching for a suitable job since Jan 08 and till now have not been successful. Some people have all the luck in the world. I feel that I'm very unlucky. I messed up my whole life by choosing the wrong life partner 2x. First one lasted for only 3 months and 2nd one for 1yr. I have caused embarrassment for my family and relatives. I have been the subject of ridicule all these years. Will life be smooth sailing for me from now onwards? I doubt so. If it has been so difficult and I'm used to it, will God allow the sudden change in my life? He'd rather give happiness to those in need more than me. I'm too old for any happiness.
I'm so disillussioned to the extent that I do not have the urge to see E. It has been more that a month since I saw him. I do not want to infect him with my ill luck.
Every incident in life is a lesson learnt. I've learnt that life outside is so harsh.
Sometimes I just feel like ending my life. It's so embrassing to have gotten a degree and not being successful in any single interview. Will I be rejected because of my poor grades in school? But I put in a lot of effort for this degree. I have been searching for a suitable job since Jan 08 and till now have not been successful. Some people have all the luck in the world. I feel that I'm very unlucky. I messed up my whole life by choosing the wrong life partner 2x. First one lasted for only 3 months and 2nd one for 1yr. I have caused embarrassment for my family and relatives. I have been the subject of ridicule all these years. Will life be smooth sailing for me from now onwards? I doubt so. If it has been so difficult and I'm used to it, will God allow the sudden change in my life? He'd rather give happiness to those in need more than me. I'm too old for any happiness.
I'm so disillussioned to the extent that I do not have the urge to see E. It has been more that a month since I saw him. I do not want to infect him with my ill luck.
Every incident in life is a lesson learnt. I've learnt that life outside is so harsh.
Why I Should Leave
Reasons why I should leave my current job
1. Whenever the photocopier jams, they call me.
2. Whenever the printer gets jammed, they call me.
3. Whenever they need stationary requisition, they call me.
4. Whenever they need to do car park reservation, they call me (when they can do it themselves)
5. Whenever they need to do meeting room reservation, they call me (when they can do it themselves)
6. Whever a new staff is introduced, I'm bypassed and the HR staff would go on looking for other officers (graduate level only) to introduce them to. Am I transparent or am I part of the furniture in the office?
7. There is this senior officer who called all other Indians for a temple prayer but left me out just because last year I ignored her invitation for her temple prayer. It's sad but I have to take it with a pinch of salt.
8. The PA here does not go on leave when her boss is away. She ensures that she comes to work when her boss is away so that she can shake legs. She chooses to go on leave when boss is in the office the whole day. When I cover the PA I notice that the most busiest period is when the boss is in when boss needs to make calls and take calls.
9.PA comes claims to come in at 7.30am when her boss arrives only at 9.30am. PA shakes legs from 7.30am till 9.30am and then goes back home at 4.30pm. From 4.30 onwards, almost everyday people assume that I cover her, which is unfair as this would mean that I cover her almost every day.
10. I just got my 2nd divorce and I need to submit the doc to HR division. If I do that, this will make tongues wag and I will be the subject of gossip. I just wish it would be timely for me to leave so that I can start fresh in a new organisation.
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1. Whenever the photocopier jams, they call me.
2. Whenever the printer gets jammed, they call me.
3. Whenever they need stationary requisition, they call me.
4. Whenever they need to do car park reservation, they call me (when they can do it themselves)
5. Whenever they need to do meeting room reservation, they call me (when they can do it themselves)
6. Whever a new staff is introduced, I'm bypassed and the HR staff would go on looking for other officers (graduate level only) to introduce them to. Am I transparent or am I part of the furniture in the office?
7. There is this senior officer who called all other Indians for a temple prayer but left me out just because last year I ignored her invitation for her temple prayer. It's sad but I have to take it with a pinch of salt.
8. The PA here does not go on leave when her boss is away. She ensures that she comes to work when her boss is away so that she can shake legs. She chooses to go on leave when boss is in the office the whole day. When I cover the PA I notice that the most busiest period is when the boss is in when boss needs to make calls and take calls.
9.PA comes claims to come in at 7.30am when her boss arrives only at 9.30am. PA shakes legs from 7.30am till 9.30am and then goes back home at 4.30pm. From 4.30 onwards, almost everyday people assume that I cover her, which is unfair as this would mean that I cover her almost every day.
10. I just got my 2nd divorce and I need to submit the doc to HR division. If I do that, this will make tongues wag and I will be the subject of gossip. I just wish it would be timely for me to leave so that I can start fresh in a new organisation.
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Monday, July 7, 2008
What a Quirky World
Yesterday, 6 July, M. called me to say that she is successful for the teaching post, but she knows nuts about teaching poetry and prose. It's very painful to know that such people get trusted for such jobs whereas I, who is so much better than her, get booted out just like that. I'm so sad that I cried. I feel useless now. I don't feel like going for my graduation this October. What's the point when no one recognises the effort I've put in all these years. A friend told me it's because of my pint size that I did not get the teaching job. I've had enough to blame myself and to add on, now, I've got to blame myself for having born small and not getting the job as my size gives others an impression that I'm not suited for the job.
Monday, June 30, 2008
Another Rejection
I thought I should start giving tuition. I applied for a tutor's post with an agency. I was told that there was a vacancy to teach a small group. I was happy but my happiness was shortlived. "Which college were you from?" asked the administerator during my interview. "I'm from a private school" I replied. "I'm surprised" he said. I was wondering why the surprise when I've come this far?
I did not get the job. It could be because I came from a private school. I worked extremely hard to come this far. Nobody would understand that I guess.
I had to face rejection after rejection. I told myself to treat this incident positively as I did not like the look of the centre.
I did not get the job. It could be because I came from a private school. I worked extremely hard to come this far. Nobody would understand that I guess.
I had to face rejection after rejection. I told myself to treat this incident positively as I did not like the look of the centre.
The Day That I Won't Forget
April 18 is when I received the rejection letter. Depression set in. I wanted to be lonely. 10 years before, I was not this depressed but the feeling was almost the same (it was for a totally different reason). My friends got it. I felt lousy for the first time. I had to face reality. The real harsh life. For people like me, it is so hard to get something that I want or rather, wanted in my whole life. For some others, it's so easy to get.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Must Learn To Let Go
So many incidents have happened since. I was called for MOE interview and was elated that I was shortlisted. However, the interview went bad! Real bad! I feel so stupid and lousy and all the bad thoughts about myself have been creeping in me lately. I have to start doing contingency plans from now onwards.
Last night, I met Liz and frends. There was a conversation on relationships that really awoke me. There is this girl who knows that her boyfriend is not the one for her but she still clings to him hoping that he would change his mind and marry her one day. There are tell tale signs too in my relationship that are negative but I'm just going with the flow. I'm confused and directionless now. What shall I do? Do men care less on the woman he loves? NO. Never! This should'nt happen. Maybe I don't meet his expectations because I'm a rotten scumbag. Not worth loving and caring for. Why am I meeting men of the same kind? Is it co-incindence? or is it fated? Why do nasty women get good men and good women end up getting nasty men? Oh Darn! This is a superficial world!!
Last night, I met Liz and frends. There was a conversation on relationships that really awoke me. There is this girl who knows that her boyfriend is not the one for her but she still clings to him hoping that he would change his mind and marry her one day. There are tell tale signs too in my relationship that are negative but I'm just going with the flow. I'm confused and directionless now. What shall I do? Do men care less on the woman he loves? NO. Never! This should'nt happen. Maybe I don't meet his expectations because I'm a rotten scumbag. Not worth loving and caring for. Why am I meeting men of the same kind? Is it co-incindence? or is it fated? Why do nasty women get good men and good women end up getting nasty men? Oh Darn! This is a superficial world!!
Monday, February 18, 2008
The Book That I Just Read - The Kite Runner
THE KITE RUNNER
KHALED HOSSEINI
Hassan and Amir are childhood friends. Hassan is contemptuously called “the Hazara boy” in his neighborhood and this name calling has been ingrained in him that it has been a part and parcel of his life and he has accepted to live with it as if it was destined for him.
Amir dislikes the attention his dad gives to Hassan and whenever he can, he tries to divert the attention from Baba (Amir’s father) as far as he could. Between Amir and Hassan, Amir is educated and intelligent whereas the Hazara boy Hassan was not educated. However, Hassan was more courageous and knew the skills of society’s harshness even when he was not educated. However, Amir the educated one lacked such knowledge as the books did not teach him how to react otherwise when threatened.
Baba (Amir’s father) was not a religious man as all Afghan men are known to be. He seems to be a modernist. He consumes alchol and the lesson learnt in this novel is, “stealing is the greatest sin of all”. The climax of the novel occurs during the kit flying festival. This is a triumphant moment when, with the help and skill of Hassan, Amir won the tournament. However, darkness gloomed over the triumph when Amir witnesses Hassan being raped by a rogue, Asef; mainly because he wanted to settle old scores (for hurting Asef when he bullied Amir once) and also because he, being a Hazara boy, had the courage to hurt Asef.
From then onwards, Amir treated Hassan differently. This was because he witnessed the whole incident without helping his best friend. Hassan had helped him numerous times when in need, but Amir could not because he did not have the courage to fight the thugs. After this incident, both friends gradually drifted apart with their own differences. Amir’s guilt overwhelmed him so much that he even attempted to put notes under Hassan’s blanket to frame Hassan for theft. Baba did not believe that Hassan would ever steal but this incident took a turn when Hassan and his father Ali decided to move out.
Once Ali and Hassan moved out, Baba and Hassan moved out too as Afghanistan was not as before and it was getting impossible to live in. They risked their lives by traveling to Pakistan in a crowded, stuffy tank full of people who were all seeking refuge to Pakistan. The next moment, the readers are taken to America where Baba is proud to see Amir graduating. Amir marries but his wife is unable to conceive and he blames himself for being selfish during his childhood days for ill treating his friend Hassan by not helping him when he was in danger.
Rahim Khan, Baba’s business partner invited Amir to Afghanistan to see him for the last time. He broke the news that Hassan is married but is already dead. He was shot at gunpoint by the Taliban leaving his son Sohrab an orphan. Sohrab was living in an orphanage but the orphanage was run under inexplicable condition where there was insufficient money to run the orphanage. As a result, the owner of the orphanage had to resort to sell an orphan or two to the Talibans for money. That was how Sohrab was sold too. Moreover, Amir learnt that Hassan was his half brother and Baba had an affair with Ali’s wife after Baba’s wife had died. Amir was shocked that this truth was kept from him and Hassan throughout their lives. Amir decided that it was time that he does some good deed for Sohrab.
Amir sought to meet the Taliban chief to get Sohrab and found out that it was Asef. Asef wanted to settle old scores in return for Sohrab and they engage in a duel. Sohrab witnessed the fight where Amir was receiving blow after blow and was becoming weak. Sohrab then took a catapult and shot at Asef’s eye. The impact was so great that it made Asef’s eye ball pop out. While Asef was writhing in pain, Amir fleed with Sohrab. Amir was hospitalized for the weeks for the injuries from the fight. Once Amir almost recovered, he and his wife Soraya decided to adopt him. However, as Afghanistan was in turmoil, Amir could not get proof that Hassan and his wife were indeed dead and without which, Afghan law will not allow Sohrab to leave Afghanistan as this will prevent Afghan’s heritage flourishing. The lawyer Amir sought advised that one possibility was to let Sohrab live in an orphanage for a while and then proceed to adopt Sohrab from there. When Sohrab heard this, he was devastated because, he refused to go back to the orphanage as he too, like his father was raped. This let Sohrab to attempt suicide by slashing his wrist with a blade, for which, he almost died.
Soraya did her research from America and found out that it was possible to bring Sohrab to America once visa is granted to him. From America, other aspects were taken care of for his adoption. Sohrab went to America, reluctantly as his heart and soul was in Afghanistan. In America, he appeared to be reserved and kept to himself as if he had lost something in life. Even Amir and Soraya have forgotten how he sounded. Nothing could make him happy, until one day, during an Afghan New Year celebration; kites were flown by the children there. Amir coaxed Sohrab to join him and taught him how to fly the kite and that was the first time Amir saw a slight smile in Sohrab’s face.
_______________________________________________________________________
My Comments
I enjoyed reading this novel but one inconvenience was coming across Afghan words in the novel. It would be good if the author had a glossary of words with their meanings or even a footnote to explain the meanings. I know that the meanings of the words are explained, as the story is narrated, but I just seem to forget the words. When I came across the same words as I read along, I seem to forget what the meanings of the words were. So, it would have been good to have a glossary of Afghan words explaining the meanings. I know that this would disrupt the flow of reading the novel but this would enable the readers to remember Afghan words better.
Besides this, this book is a good read that shows an insight of peaceful Afghan life in the 1970s and the segregation of certain groups in the Afghan community. Baba’s character is portrayed as a modernist and this created a twist from the norm. This character of Baba can be subjective, but I liked it. There is a moment when Amir who had not prayed for years starts to pray when Sohrab is hospitalized and when Amir says that God is not everywhere but can only be in hospitals is very insightful. It is true that it is only in the hospitals where we seek God for miracles to happen. Even doctors are regarded as Gods out of desperation.
KHALED HOSSEINI
Hassan and Amir are childhood friends. Hassan is contemptuously called “the Hazara boy” in his neighborhood and this name calling has been ingrained in him that it has been a part and parcel of his life and he has accepted to live with it as if it was destined for him.
Amir dislikes the attention his dad gives to Hassan and whenever he can, he tries to divert the attention from Baba (Amir’s father) as far as he could. Between Amir and Hassan, Amir is educated and intelligent whereas the Hazara boy Hassan was not educated. However, Hassan was more courageous and knew the skills of society’s harshness even when he was not educated. However, Amir the educated one lacked such knowledge as the books did not teach him how to react otherwise when threatened.
Baba (Amir’s father) was not a religious man as all Afghan men are known to be. He seems to be a modernist. He consumes alchol and the lesson learnt in this novel is, “stealing is the greatest sin of all”. The climax of the novel occurs during the kit flying festival. This is a triumphant moment when, with the help and skill of Hassan, Amir won the tournament. However, darkness gloomed over the triumph when Amir witnesses Hassan being raped by a rogue, Asef; mainly because he wanted to settle old scores (for hurting Asef when he bullied Amir once) and also because he, being a Hazara boy, had the courage to hurt Asef.
From then onwards, Amir treated Hassan differently. This was because he witnessed the whole incident without helping his best friend. Hassan had helped him numerous times when in need, but Amir could not because he did not have the courage to fight the thugs. After this incident, both friends gradually drifted apart with their own differences. Amir’s guilt overwhelmed him so much that he even attempted to put notes under Hassan’s blanket to frame Hassan for theft. Baba did not believe that Hassan would ever steal but this incident took a turn when Hassan and his father Ali decided to move out.
Once Ali and Hassan moved out, Baba and Hassan moved out too as Afghanistan was not as before and it was getting impossible to live in. They risked their lives by traveling to Pakistan in a crowded, stuffy tank full of people who were all seeking refuge to Pakistan. The next moment, the readers are taken to America where Baba is proud to see Amir graduating. Amir marries but his wife is unable to conceive and he blames himself for being selfish during his childhood days for ill treating his friend Hassan by not helping him when he was in danger.
Rahim Khan, Baba’s business partner invited Amir to Afghanistan to see him for the last time. He broke the news that Hassan is married but is already dead. He was shot at gunpoint by the Taliban leaving his son Sohrab an orphan. Sohrab was living in an orphanage but the orphanage was run under inexplicable condition where there was insufficient money to run the orphanage. As a result, the owner of the orphanage had to resort to sell an orphan or two to the Talibans for money. That was how Sohrab was sold too. Moreover, Amir learnt that Hassan was his half brother and Baba had an affair with Ali’s wife after Baba’s wife had died. Amir was shocked that this truth was kept from him and Hassan throughout their lives. Amir decided that it was time that he does some good deed for Sohrab.
Amir sought to meet the Taliban chief to get Sohrab and found out that it was Asef. Asef wanted to settle old scores in return for Sohrab and they engage in a duel. Sohrab witnessed the fight where Amir was receiving blow after blow and was becoming weak. Sohrab then took a catapult and shot at Asef’s eye. The impact was so great that it made Asef’s eye ball pop out. While Asef was writhing in pain, Amir fleed with Sohrab. Amir was hospitalized for the weeks for the injuries from the fight. Once Amir almost recovered, he and his wife Soraya decided to adopt him. However, as Afghanistan was in turmoil, Amir could not get proof that Hassan and his wife were indeed dead and without which, Afghan law will not allow Sohrab to leave Afghanistan as this will prevent Afghan’s heritage flourishing. The lawyer Amir sought advised that one possibility was to let Sohrab live in an orphanage for a while and then proceed to adopt Sohrab from there. When Sohrab heard this, he was devastated because, he refused to go back to the orphanage as he too, like his father was raped. This let Sohrab to attempt suicide by slashing his wrist with a blade, for which, he almost died.
Soraya did her research from America and found out that it was possible to bring Sohrab to America once visa is granted to him. From America, other aspects were taken care of for his adoption. Sohrab went to America, reluctantly as his heart and soul was in Afghanistan. In America, he appeared to be reserved and kept to himself as if he had lost something in life. Even Amir and Soraya have forgotten how he sounded. Nothing could make him happy, until one day, during an Afghan New Year celebration; kites were flown by the children there. Amir coaxed Sohrab to join him and taught him how to fly the kite and that was the first time Amir saw a slight smile in Sohrab’s face.
_______________________________________________________________________
My Comments
I enjoyed reading this novel but one inconvenience was coming across Afghan words in the novel. It would be good if the author had a glossary of words with their meanings or even a footnote to explain the meanings. I know that the meanings of the words are explained, as the story is narrated, but I just seem to forget the words. When I came across the same words as I read along, I seem to forget what the meanings of the words were. So, it would have been good to have a glossary of Afghan words explaining the meanings. I know that this would disrupt the flow of reading the novel but this would enable the readers to remember Afghan words better.
Besides this, this book is a good read that shows an insight of peaceful Afghan life in the 1970s and the segregation of certain groups in the Afghan community. Baba’s character is portrayed as a modernist and this created a twist from the norm. This character of Baba can be subjective, but I liked it. There is a moment when Amir who had not prayed for years starts to pray when Sohrab is hospitalized and when Amir says that God is not everywhere but can only be in hospitals is very insightful. It is true that it is only in the hospitals where we seek God for miracles to happen. Even doctors are regarded as Gods out of desperation.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Meaning of Flowers
Roses - Love
Orchids - A belle
Iris - My compliments
Daisies - Innocence
Tulips - Declaration of love
Calla Lily - Beauty
Amaryllis - Splendid beauty
Hydrangea - Heartfelt
Anthurium - Hospitality
Daffodils - Chivalry
Chrysanthemums - Fidelity
Carnations - Pride and beauty
Lilacs - Youthful innocence
Birds of Paradise - Joyfulness
Tiger Lily - Wealth, pride
Peony - Bashful
Anemone - Anticipation
Sunflowers - Pure thoughts
Aster - Patience
Gladiolus - Strength of character
Orchids - A belle
Iris - My compliments
Daisies - Innocence
Tulips - Declaration of love
Calla Lily - Beauty
Amaryllis - Splendid beauty
Hydrangea - Heartfelt
Anthurium - Hospitality
Daffodils - Chivalry
Chrysanthemums - Fidelity
Carnations - Pride and beauty
Lilacs - Youthful innocence
Birds of Paradise - Joyfulness
Tiger Lily - Wealth, pride
Peony - Bashful
Anemone - Anticipation
Sunflowers - Pure thoughts
Aster - Patience
Gladiolus - Strength of character
Monday, February 11, 2008
Valentine's Day? Why The Hype?
Do you need a day out of the 365 days in a year to express your love to your loved ones?
Just because everyone else or even the whole world is celebrating, does that mean that you too have to follow suit?
Why can't you give 999 red roses on other days? Why must it be only on Valentines day?
Valentine's day is celebrated to commemorate the death of St Valentine? Why can't we celebrate lover's day when Romeo died in Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet? Or even celebrate 'Lover's Day' by celebrating the anniversary of the erection of the monument, Taj Mahal?
The celebration of Valentine's Day is in fact an influence of Western culture, resulting in a consumerist culture. This is an excellent time where shops escalate the prices of cards, gifts, flowers and candys. I'm sure all of us want to be part of the group. No one wants to loose out and all those singles out there do not want to make it look as if we are the unwanted ones?
As for me, my best Valentine's gift will to receive a kiss and a hug from your special someone. I'm not materialistic but this will never happen because i'll be celebrating Valentine's day all by myself.
Do not fret if you are single. Just read a romantic novel that will bring you through an imaginative world. It's not expensive to indulge in imagination! It would be fun and that's what I'll be doing this Valentine's day. I'm going to spend some of my time in the library reading a romantic novel (although I do not like romantic novels)
This is how I'll spend my time on 14 Feb 08
9am to 1pm - Work
1pm to 6pm - Staff Conference
6pm to 10pm - Library@Victoria Street [you can catch me there if you want to see me:)]
10pm - end of Valentine's Day.
Why so much hype over just one day? To all those singles out there, life still goes on no matter what.
Just because everyone else or even the whole world is celebrating, does that mean that you too have to follow suit?
Why can't you give 999 red roses on other days? Why must it be only on Valentines day?
Valentine's day is celebrated to commemorate the death of St Valentine? Why can't we celebrate lover's day when Romeo died in Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet? Or even celebrate 'Lover's Day' by celebrating the anniversary of the erection of the monument, Taj Mahal?
The celebration of Valentine's Day is in fact an influence of Western culture, resulting in a consumerist culture. This is an excellent time where shops escalate the prices of cards, gifts, flowers and candys. I'm sure all of us want to be part of the group. No one wants to loose out and all those singles out there do not want to make it look as if we are the unwanted ones?
As for me, my best Valentine's gift will to receive a kiss and a hug from your special someone. I'm not materialistic but this will never happen because i'll be celebrating Valentine's day all by myself.
Do not fret if you are single. Just read a romantic novel that will bring you through an imaginative world. It's not expensive to indulge in imagination! It would be fun and that's what I'll be doing this Valentine's day. I'm going to spend some of my time in the library reading a romantic novel (although I do not like romantic novels)
This is how I'll spend my time on 14 Feb 08
9am to 1pm - Work
1pm to 6pm - Staff Conference
6pm to 10pm - Library@Victoria Street [you can catch me there if you want to see me:)]
10pm - end of Valentine's Day.
Why so much hype over just one day? To all those singles out there, life still goes on no matter what.
Monday, February 4, 2008
Article on Time Mag
This morning I read an article on Time Magazine (Dated 4 Feb) on "coupling". I even took the "Thermometer of Love" test and was surprised to see that in most places I gave the highest point (i.e 9).
These are the following questions asked
1. I would feel deep despair if ____left me (Definitely true)
2. Sometimes I feel I can't control my thoughts; they are obsessively about _____. (Moderately true)
3. I feel happy when I am doing something to make _______happy (Definitely true)
4. I would rather be with _____than anyone else. (Moderately true)
5. I'd get jealous if I thought ____were falling in love with someone else. (Definitely true)
6. I yearn to know all about ________. (
7. I want ______physically, emotionally, mentally (Definitally true)
8. I have an endless appetite for affecton from ____
9. For me, ____ is the perfect romantic partner (Not at all true)
10. I sense my body responding whten ______touches me (Definitely true)
11. ___always seems to be on my mind (Definitely true)
12. I want _____ to know me-my thought, fears and hopes.
13. I eagerly look for signs indicating _____'s desire for me.
14. I possess a powerful attractrion for _______.
15. I get extremely depressed when things don't go right in my relationship with ____
I feel that those who choose to remain single and claim that God's love and parents love are sufficient are just fooling themselves. Falling in love and being in love with your 'special someone' is the best thing that can ever happen to anyone. It's a differnt type of indescribable feeling. For me, it's not more of the lure of your partner's smell but it's more the physical contact, the embrace, the locking of lips and many more.
These are the following questions asked
1. I would feel deep despair if ____left me (Definitely true)
2. Sometimes I feel I can't control my thoughts; they are obsessively about _____. (Moderately true)
3. I feel happy when I am doing something to make _______happy (Definitely true)
4. I would rather be with _____than anyone else. (Moderately true)
5. I'd get jealous if I thought ____were falling in love with someone else. (Definitely true)
6. I yearn to know all about ________. (
7. I want ______physically, emotionally, mentally (Definitally true)
8. I have an endless appetite for affecton from ____
9. For me, ____ is the perfect romantic partner (Not at all true)
10. I sense my body responding whten ______touches me (Definitely true)
11. ___always seems to be on my mind (Definitely true)
12. I want _____ to know me-my thought, fears and hopes.
13. I eagerly look for signs indicating _____'s desire for me.
14. I possess a powerful attractrion for _______.
15. I get extremely depressed when things don't go right in my relationship with ____
I feel that those who choose to remain single and claim that God's love and parents love are sufficient are just fooling themselves. Falling in love and being in love with your 'special someone' is the best thing that can ever happen to anyone. It's a differnt type of indescribable feeling. For me, it's not more of the lure of your partner's smell but it's more the physical contact, the embrace, the locking of lips and many more.
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
The Day I Was Lucky
I signed up for our Dinner & Dance just for the Gym bag. I did not like working at where I am now, so I'm usually not interested to attend company functions. Firstly, was disappointed with Jes because she did not tell me that she is performing until I heard it from Ms Kaur the caring Personal Assistant. Ms Kaur wore a sleeveless top and I made a simple hairstyle for her. She looked pretty.
I saw Jes perform with M&M. The performance was good. Jes wore sleeveless and she looked so different with her wig.
I was bored to death as the acoustics were bad and I could not hear a thing that was going on stage.
I was disappointed that night as Ms Kaur took the only gym bag that was there and I could not get one for myself. I know that I can get it when I am back to work on Monday, but I've helped Ms Kaur a lot. Only I know how much I had helped her. I expected herto give me the gym bag, since I frequent the gym and she can get one on Monday. However, she did not do that. She felt lucky and kept the bag for herself. I told myself not be petty but I learnt something about her. People only care about themselves. I cared for her and made her feel better when she was going through a marriage crisis. I realised that this is a selfish world. All she wants now is to get her husband back and am sure she will kick me off when she is with her husband.
I am not petty about the gym bag but I feel that people are selfish and only care for themselves and for their wellbeing. I told myself that I am not going to listen to any of her marriage problems as she has got Liz. to listen.
Anyway, I won the first prize i.e. 500 Isetan voucher. I feel that since I do not mean harm to anyone, I deserve it. Ms Kaur told me that others did not clap as i got on stage but I am not bothered. They are a bunch of nincompoops who are jealous of me. Let them be jealous and this jealousy will destroy them gradually.
I saw Jes perform with M&M. The performance was good. Jes wore sleeveless and she looked so different with her wig.
I was bored to death as the acoustics were bad and I could not hear a thing that was going on stage.
I was disappointed that night as Ms Kaur took the only gym bag that was there and I could not get one for myself. I know that I can get it when I am back to work on Monday, but I've helped Ms Kaur a lot. Only I know how much I had helped her. I expected herto give me the gym bag, since I frequent the gym and she can get one on Monday. However, she did not do that. She felt lucky and kept the bag for herself. I told myself not be petty but I learnt something about her. People only care about themselves. I cared for her and made her feel better when she was going through a marriage crisis. I realised that this is a selfish world. All she wants now is to get her husband back and am sure she will kick me off when she is with her husband.
I am not petty about the gym bag but I feel that people are selfish and only care for themselves and for their wellbeing. I told myself that I am not going to listen to any of her marriage problems as she has got Liz. to listen.
Anyway, I won the first prize i.e. 500 Isetan voucher. I feel that since I do not mean harm to anyone, I deserve it. Ms Kaur told me that others did not clap as i got on stage but I am not bothered. They are a bunch of nincompoops who are jealous of me. Let them be jealous and this jealousy will destroy them gradually.
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