Oh I feel so useless and feel that I'm the most unluckiest person on earth.
Sometimes I just feel like ending my life. It's so embrassing to have gotten a degree and not being successful in any single interview. Will I be rejected because of my poor grades in school? But I put in a lot of effort for this degree. I have been searching for a suitable job since Jan 08 and till now have not been successful. Some people have all the luck in the world. I feel that I'm very unlucky. I messed up my whole life by choosing the wrong life partner 2x. First one lasted for only 3 months and 2nd one for 1yr. I have caused embarrassment for my family and relatives. I have been the subject of ridicule all these years. Will life be smooth sailing for me from now onwards? I doubt so. If it has been so difficult and I'm used to it, will God allow the sudden change in my life? He'd rather give happiness to those in need more than me. I'm too old for any happiness.
I'm so disillussioned to the extent that I do not have the urge to see E. It has been more that a month since I saw him. I do not want to infect him with my ill luck.
Every incident in life is a lesson learnt. I've learnt that life outside is so harsh.
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