By the way, I did not dump "M" but found his mails weird. One day, he suddenly told me that he is in New Zealand for his business and wanted my address. Sorry, but I barely know him. How can I give him my address? I refused to give him my address and got his number, but I have not called him yet. I don't think I ever want to write to him again as I think "M" is not genuine.
I then met "A" from England. He is so cheerful and makes me smile and even laugh. We chatted once and he seemed nice. Receiving mails from him just makes me happy and I look forward to his mails. I admire him for single handedly raising his son whom he dotes on. I'm already having feelings for him and hope everything works out well. He is coming soon to visit me and hope God shows mercy on me this time and wipe out the lonliness in me. I know that by exchanging mails and chatting we are creating an imaginary world, but why can't we transform the imaginary world into reality when both of us a honest, truthful and serious?
To all those who are reading this, please say a prayer for me that it will work out.
I know this is not of utmost importance to you as there are so many people out there who are really in need of a prayer to heal a soul in some way or other, but if you were in my shoes, you will know how it feels when you are lonely. I've been lonely for years and this whole thing has been making me happy. Will my happiness be an everlasting one this time? Or will be vanished just like the previous times? These are the questions that I keep asking now for which I cannot find answers. I will keep praying for strength to take whatever comes along the way, be it happiness and disappointment. Well, what else will I do? shed tears for a few days and life goes on as usual. Hope it is as easy as it sounds.
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